5 Subconscious Things You Do That Make Others Ignore You

Do you feel ignored? Like you are invisible at times? Like no one cares that you exist? It is a sad reality to live in, and it is easy to blame others for it. But the truth is there may be some things you do subconsciously that creates this reality. This is a tough pill to swallow. However, this is a good thing. It means by changing some things in your life, you can change this reality. So without further ado, let me introduce the most common reasons why you are being ignored.

5 Subconscious Things You Do That Make Others Ignore You
5 Subconscious Things You Do That Make Others Ignore You

You lack self-confidence

When some people walk into the room, all heads turn. Others blend into the background and are rarely noticed. How is that even possible?

This is a matter of confidence and social presence. Those with confidence have a certain vibe that demands attention. Those who lack confidence not only get ignored, but sometimes repel others subconsciously. You see, emotions are contagious. When you talk to a happy person, you feel happy as well. The opposite happens when you talk to someone who is sad.

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People who lack confidence have a bit of fear in them that other people don’t like being exposed to. It makes them feel less confident as well. So they prefer to stay away. The best way to handle this, is to develop your confidence. I have several articles that will help you with that. Check them out.

Recommended Articles:

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  2. Confidence building activities
  3. How to step out of your comfort zone | 9 tips to conquer your fears

You are too negative

Negativity can dampen your mood. This is why negative people are usually ignored. People like to feel good. When talking to someone upsets you every time, you naturally try to stay away from him. Wouldn’t you?

If you grew up with parents who always saw the glass as half empty, you might find yourself being the same way. This is normal, since we learn from our environment. But once we realize that it is not serving us, we have the power to change it. It’s not going to be easy, but it is possible.

Start by thinking about your friends and family. Name five qualities that you like about each one of them. Do this every morning. Pick one or two people, places or things and think positive thoughts about them. Make sure you come up with something new every day. Repeating the same isn’t going to work. Continue doing this for a month before you go to the next step.

The next step includes replacing your negative thinking with positive ones. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, shift to positive thinking. So if you find your self saying “I can’t believe I did that, it was so stupid”, say “I will do better next time” instead. Then visualize your self doing better. Positive thinking doesn’t mean you ignore your mistakes. It means you focus on doing better rather than your mistakes.

There is a reason that I asked you to wait a month before you go to the next step. You cannot shift your thoughts from negative to positive, if you don’t have experience thinking positively. So you need to practice going from neutral to positive first. Without practice, step 2 will be impossible. You are likely to give up and never try again. So have patience and keep trying.

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You criticize too much

 

You criticize too much
You criticize too much

Criticism helps a person grow and become better. You may do it with the best of intentions, but if done too often it may damage your relationships. People who grew up with critical parents often find themselves unconsciously doing this. If this is you, you will have to work on it. Here is how.

First, you have to learn to pick your battles. If someone is at the risk of losing his job due to his rude behavior, maybe you should say something. But if the same person used the pink color in his presentation, maybe it is not necessary to tell him that it made the presentation a bit unprofessional.

When you focus on small and unimportant details, people learn to ignore you. This is because they don’t think what you say is of value. Then, when you eventually do say something valuable, even life changing, they continue to ignore you out of habit. So before you criticize, think again, is this absolutely necessary?

Another thing to focus on is how frequently you repeat the same advice over and over again. You can say it once and may be again after a few months, but not again and again every chance you get. You need to learn to respect other people’s choices, even if they are bad ones. If you tell your friend not to get angry every chance you get, sooner or later he will start getting fed up of hearing it. He may start avoiding you or ignoring you only because he doesn’t want to hear the same piece of advice again. So it is not only the content you need to watch, but also the frequency of criticism.

Finally, when you do offer advice, make sure you do it in a positive, uplifting manner. If you have some feedback on his presentation, point out something good about it first. Make the criticism short and sweet. You can even use the sandwich technique, in which you sandwich criticism in between two positive feedback. This way, the receiver is less likely to be hurt or offended by your opinion.

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You don’t listen to others.

Have you ever found yourself talking to someone who just doesn’t get you? They live in their own world and whatever you say falls on deaf years. Maybe, they are always talking about themselves and not really paying any interest in you. There is a limit to how much another person can tolerate listening to a subject that they are simply not interested in.

So whenever you are talking, listen to what the other person is saying. Not just the words, pay attention to the tone and body language as well. Do they seem interested in what you are saying. If not, change the topic. Find a topic that both of you are equally interested in. Sometimes people nod and agree with you just to be polite. But it doesn’t mean that they are really interested. You need to be attuned to this difference.

You ask too much

Those who ask too much are ironically the people who care too much. Imagine you are doing a project. You want to do it perfectly. So every time you have to make a decision, you ask your boss or partner what he thinks. He has his own work to focus on. You, interrupting him every time you have to make a decision, is soon going to get annoying. This is simply because you are distracting him from his work, and you are asking too much.

This doesn’t only happen at work. If you hate it when others are in a bad mood and try to do everything you can to fix it, that too can become annoying. Not only are you asking too many questions and coming up with too many suggestions, but also you are taking away their right to be the way they want. Sometimes people don’t want to be happy. They just want to be left alone until they sort things out.

This attitude is a result of low self-esteem. If you want to change it, you need to improve your self-esteem. I recommend you to read my article on Self-esteem.

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You are too quiet

When you are in a group, how much do you talk? Are you the silent type? If so, people may assume that you are not interested, or you do not like to socialize.

Even if you have something to say, you may have the habit of waiting for a good opening. But when that opportunity never comes, you end up not saying anything at all. If this is the case, it also ties back to low self-confidence. So that’s what you need to work on.

Do not get me wrong. Being quiet doesn’t necessarily mean you have low self-confidence. There are tons of people in the world who are quiet but have high self-confidence. But these are the people that command attention when they finally do speak up. So if you are not one of them, you might as well improve your self-confidence.

You overthink

Does the conversation seem to move faster than you can manage? By the time you are ready to say something, the conversation has moved further, and your point is no longer relevant. This is a sign of overthinking.

Usually, people don’t think first and then talk. They think out loud and that’s how the conversation progresses. Do you have the habit of thinking first, and evaluating it before you say anything? Then you are overthinking. This may come from a fear of rejection or humiliation. You may prefer to get things perfect. However, this too is a side effect of low self-esteem. So if you find yourself in this situation, you need to work on your self-esteem.

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Recommended Articles:

  1.  Self-esteem Development| 13 Simple Ways to Boost your Self-esteem
  2. Confidence building activities
  3. How to step out of your comfort zone | 9 tips to conquer your fears

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5 Subconscious Things You Do That Make Others Ignore You
5 Subconscious Things You Do That Make Others Ignore You

 

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